A New standard (Thursday Jan 14)

I decided in early January that I had had enough and I was too worried about him trying to manipulate me anymore. So I spent 2 days in court filing for emergency custody and a restraining order. They didn't order anything for custody, but I was surprised that I got the restraining order. It was only issued for a week though, so I had to be in court again last Thursday for a review of it.

Boy was that one of the best and worst experiences ever. my mom served him a supplementary affidavit before court, and his lawyer served me his in court. He outright lied through most of it, his lawyer actually asked to put a restraining order on me!! He denied almost everything, said the fighting was mutual, but admitted that the relationship was extremely abusive. I don't get it. He even accused me of being sexually molested because we didn't have a heathly sexual relationship!! Hmmmmm you think anyone would want to be intimate with someone who treats them like CRAP????

Anyway, they cancelled the restraining order. Fine with me, we are communicating via communication book now. THe judge has ordered that we still have to share her 50/50, which was devastating at first, until she then ordered that I be the one to make all doctor's appointments and health related appointments ect and keep him informed. She basically gave me a half-assed legal custody (at least for health), which is all I really wanted (to be fair). Now I don't need his permission for anything related to her health.

The only thing that I don't like is that she ordered week-on, week-off, meaning I will be without my girl for 7 days in a row!. She is only 3, I think it is a little too long, and I am completely devastated at the thought.

I have to say that I would NOT recommend anyone else self-defend against a nasty lawyer, esp in an abuse case. It was very hard to check my emotions with him there at first; I felt terribly guilty for letting it get to this point, and sorry for him since he looked so distraught. I couldn't control my tears as I read his affidavit, it was almost completely all lies. While I did fine, was articulate and the judge listened to me, I was not familiar with some of the proceedure and almost lost out on the chance to file my affidavit. The clerk himself went to remind her while she was in chambers. I think he spoke for me too, since my sister said he smiled and looked at me when she made the order for her doctor's visits.

So now I don't need his written permission for counselling (though he agreed verbally in court) and he has confirmed that she is having her surgery. I didn't expect the restaining order to be granted in the first place, and the judge said we should continue exchanging at the police station when required.

Thank God today is over.